Imagine you’re on a rollercoaster that doesn’t stop, but you’re also responsible for keeping the tracks intact while juggling flaming swords. That’s basically parenting, according to U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy.
In a newly published op-ed in The New York Times, Murthy lays it out: parenting isn’t just tiring; it’s a health hazard. And not in the “ha-ha, I haven’t slept in years” way—but in a “this is a public health crisis” way.
He’s been there—he’s got his own battle scars from when his daughter needed emergency surgery at just a year old.
His takeaway? Parenting is a mixed bag of joy, and soul-crushing stress that makes even the most challenging jobs look like a cakewalk. And if the nation’s top doc is this overwhelmed, you can bet there’s more going on here than just “bad time management.”
Not Just an Emotional Rollercoaster—A National Emergency
Murthy argues that parenting stress is a hidden public health emergency.
It’s not just sleepless nights or the occasional existential crisis in the diaper aisle. According to a study he cites from the American Psychological Association, nearly half of parents feel like their stress is “completely overwhelming” most days.
Compare that to only about a quarter of non-parents who say the same, and it’s pretty clear there’s a severe disparity. Parenting isn’t just tough—it’s wearing people down, physically and mentally.
What’s worse? Parents are grappling with the usual suspects—money, safety, lack of sleep—while also dealing with new enemies like screens everywhere, a youth mental health crisis, and a world that seems to be spinning faster every day.
And it’s lonely at the top (or the bottom, depending on how much laundry you have). Parents, especially single ones, feel more isolated than ever, stretched for time and energy, and exhausted from trying to live up to an impossible standard.
Enough with the “Hang in There” Talk
Murthy isn’t just asking for a moment of silence for all the stressed-out parents; he’s calling for a full-scale policy overhaul.
His message? Parents don’t need more well-meaning but hollow “you’re doing great” sentiments—they need real support.
Murthy’s blueprint for a better future for parents includes everything from child tax credits and paid leave for new parents to more accessible mental health care and reliable child care options.
He’s not stopping there. He also wants to tackle the bigger societal issues that add fuel to the fire, such as the damaging effects of social media and the terrifying specter of gun violence. His vision? A world where parents can breathe a little easier and maybe, just maybe, feel like they’ve got this.
Parenting: The Ultimate Team Sport
But this isn’t just about top-down change. Murthy makes a compelling case for the importance of community support. He shares a touching story about a friend who stepped in to help with his son and how those 15 minutes felt like a life raft in a stormy sea.
His takeaway? Don’t underestimate the power of showing up for someone—even just giving them a few minutes to catch their breath.